This morning I noticed a tensing, my mind kicking into it’s whirring planning mode, anxiety arising as I work out if I have enough energy to get through the day. Then I realised – this habit of bracing myself to get through my day – these learnt patterns that served me well and did, in fact, get me through many days as a very stressed Maths teacher – are no longer needed.
Noticing can be very powerful. This, to me, is my mindfulness practice kicking into action, starting to impact on my life in a very real and life-enhancing way.
As I write this I can see the birch trees outside my kitchen window. Some of their leaves are just starting to yellow, ready to die and fall off. I see my noticing like the yellowing of the birch’s leaves. I am getting ready to release habits that are not serving me any more. This will take time and that’s ok. Autumn reminds me to take the time to take stock of what I have and what I no longer need. And when I am ready….the space to gently let go.