Are you in Self Development Hell?

get better at list self development hell May 26, 2022

Are you in Self Development Hell?


You’ve identified all the things that are wrong with you.


You know all the ways you want to be better.


You’ve read the books, followed the success tips, done a ton of inner work.


And now you feel like if only I can remember to keep doing that thing, keep releasing my fear, keep working on those blocks, keep rewriting my story, keep aiming to be the best version of myself.


Then everything would magically fall into place.


When I am a better partner, parent, friend, colleague, business owner, dog owner, plant owner, exerciser, meditator, affirmation-sayer, dream-boarder, manifestor….


Then life will be manageable and I will be happy.




There is NOTHING fundamentally wrong with you.


At your core you are beautiful.


You are pure love and want to sprinkle kindness everywhere.


‘So, how Heidi’, I hear you ask, ‘do I get out of self-development hell?’


‘Thank you for asking’, I reply, ‘because this is one of my (many) zones of genius’.


(Important side-note: reread that last sentence. How much self-development work do you think it took me to be able to state that I have many zones of genius? And then to have the courage to become The Gentle Rebel Coach? To have the courage to say ‘I can help - come over here and be held in love as your already perfect self whilst I guide you gently, but firmly to seeing yourself as you really are’? TONS!!! Most of it could have been shortcutted if I had been able to be coached by my future self. But isn’t that the same for so many of us? The thing that we learn to do, the very thing we learn to embrace as our unique work in the world is the very thing that would have saved the earlier version of ourselves. Food for thought. My one word about that is - adventure!)


So, back to getting you out of Self Development Hell (and fast because it’s a horrid place to be)


The Gentle Rebellion starts from here:


You are both perfect AND a work in progress.


The work is to gently, but firmly let go of the belief that there is anything fundamentally wrong with you.




By noticing each time a ‘I need to be better….’pops up.


By becoming aware of your invisible Get Better At List.


‘But Heidi! I WANT to be better’


I know you do.


Me too.


But what if there was an easier way?


What if you could avoid the overwhelm of trying to tick off your invisible Get Better At List by doing a ton of bashy self-development work that inflames your feelings of inadequacy, alerts you to your imposter syndrome and highlights all the ways you just don’t feel good enough?


Because how can it even be possible for you not to be good enough for your own life?


What if you get to choose your adventure:


Option A: Self Development Hell

Keep working on all the things you need to be better at 


Option B: The Gentle Rebel Way

Gently, but firmly let go of the belief that there is anything fundamentally wrong with you.


One leads to freedom and the capacity for more joy and love than you can even imagine right now.


P.S. Imagine if everyone in the world loved themselves wholly.


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