Big Goals, Small Joys: How to Have Both
Jan 28, 2025
Grounding Myself in the Future That Is Already Here
Past, present, future—I find it hard to exist in just one at a time.
When I live predominantly in my mind, I’m pulled in three directions at once:
- Reliving terrible, heartbreaking, shameful memories.
- Noticing everything that needs fixing right now.
- Carrying the heavy burden of future nightmare scenarios.
From this place, I’m compelled to react—constantly. I try to tackle an overloaded to-do list to keep everything together, driven by a deep fear of shame and pain.
But here’s the thing: I cannot think straight. I work hard, but it’s from a place of pushing and striving. That energy depletes me even as it gives me an intermittent, addictive adrenaline high.
When My Body Screamed
I only really started to let my body weigh in when it screamed at me.
I had pushed through a particularly stressful couple of months at work. I was waking in the night with pain running down the left side of my body.
It seems incomprehensible as I write this. A shameful thing to admit.
But I know it’s not just me. I have clients who’ve done the same—pushing through, ignoring their bodies, only to end up here, at the edge of themselves.
Why do we treat ourselves this way?
Because when we’re living primarily from a mind-based perspective, everything feels like a problem to be solved. Every demand is urgent.
Tuning into the body from this state feels impossible. It’s just another demand to contend with—and a terrifying one at that. What if the body screams louder? What if it lets us down completely?
The Power of Neutral Noticing
This is why there’s so much power in doing nothing except neutrally noticing.
Noticing the screaming of the body. Noticing the physical sensations. Noticing without judgment.
It doesn’t mean dismissing or ignoring what’s happening. It means acknowledging it without the pressure to fix it immediately.
But how do you drop the judgment? How do you notice without triggering fear, anxiety, or the urge to fix?
By noticing everything.
Notice the pain. Notice the physical sensations. Notice the loops of fear, overthinking, and problem-solving that accompany them. Notice it all—completely neutrally.
How does it feel when someone listens to you without judgment or rushing to fix you?
It feels good, doesn’t it?
The Practice
For the past few days, my back has been unexpectedly and inexplicably painful. The pain is grabbing my attention and draining my energy. I want it gone.
But instead of fighting it, I’ve been listening. I even asked, What do you need?
It answered with silence. Until this morning - “to feel better”. So simple.
So, I had a bath. And it felt wonderful.
This simple act shifted my focus. It reminded me that feeling good doesn’t have to be so complicated; to notice the tiny opportunities of joy already here:
- The tiny carnations, broken from a bunch I was gifted over a week ago, sit in little vases on my kitchen windowsill. They quietly and effortlessly bring me joy—if I choose to notice them.
- At the same time, I realised I was looking forward to taking a few minutes to set the kitchen straight—and the anticipation of this felt like joy. I can feel it in my heart as I write these words to you.
Big Goals, Small Joys
Joy can be so much simpler than my mind tells me. But I don’t want to let go of my big goals or aim for a simpler life. That’s not who I am. I want my business growth, personal growth, financial growth and more satisfying relationships.
But I also want to feel joy now.
This isn’t an either/or situation. It’s an ongoing practice—one I get wrong all the time, but one that makes all the difference when I get it right.
The trick, I’ve found, is to enjoy the future I’ve already created for myself while also enjoying the anticipation of those big goals coming true.
So here I am, learning to hold space for both—the big goals and the small joys.
Today, that looks like clearing the kitchen and working on some delightfully challenging work projects.