Life is hard. Success requires sacrifice. Everything you want is on the outside of your comfort zone.Oct 04, 2023
Life is hard. Success requires sacrifice. Everything you want is on the outside of your comfort zone.
Life is easy. Success for me cannot require the sacrifice of my health, sanity and ability to switch off, laugh easily and be present with those I love most in the world. Everything I want is on the inside of my comfort zone.
Which of these beliefs is more useful to you?
When I look back on my life, I can see that when I've held either set of beliefs, I've achieved much of what I wanted.
I completed a psychology degree, raised my children, bought and did up homes, completed a half marathon, trained to be a maths teacher, set up my coaching business, hung out with elephants, mended relationships, learnt how to build a straw bale house, grew blue and pink potatoes. And thousands of other big and small things.
But my gently rebellious experiment with the latter set of beliefs has been life changing.
Which is helpful to notice because that evidence (achievement regardless) helps counteract the resistance my mind puts up when I challenge and attempt to release the first set of more traditionally held views.
It means I'm not downsizing my dreams, I'm just trying to find a better way of adventuring towards them.
Notice what I did there? I swapped achieving for adventuring. Because words matter. Achieving goals means all the satisfaction is delayed until the end. Now while I know this isn't true in practice, using the word ‘adventuring’ adds a lot more satisfaction and playfulness along the way. It focuses on the HOW not the WHAT. It helps me view my life as one big adventure, made up of lots of mini adventures.
This sits better with me than the constant push towards achieving a goal, which although they've been satisfying have often cost me things I now regard highly. My health, my sanity, my friendships, my ability to switch off and enjoy my life outside of the current goals. These things matter immensely. Mainly because I've learnt the hard way through loss - through imploding my life by unexpectedly burning out five years ago. An experience I absolutely refuse to repeat.
But I'm also unwilling (seemingly unable, in fact) to downsize my dreams.
I want it all - well paid satisfying work that uses my unique skills and gifts AND my health, sanity and the ability to enjoy the rest of my life.
What about you? Which beliefs serve you better?
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