The Simplest Way to Create Space for Yourself
Dec 19, 2024
I crave space for myself. And if I don’t get enough of it, I’m irritable, more quick to the snappy grumpy judgemental version of myself.
For me, I have learnt that creating space for myself is essential. It’s just how I am.
But learning this took me most of my life. And I’m also aware of just how hard it is to create.
It’s a vicious circle - you know you need more space for yourself but to create that space requires some space to be able to think straight and focus on creating that space.
And so you push on through, getting irritable and not liking who you sometimes are with those you love most.
You think there's something wrong with you. That you should be nicer, you should be better at handling yoru busy stressful day. You should practice mindfulness, meditation, yoga and journaling...oh and breathing better…etc etc etc.
But the truth is space isn’t a thing, it's a feeling.
This was highlighted to me when I was feeling practically desperate for the need for space for myself - everyone else's needs pressing in on me, the responsibility for other people's happiness weighing heavily on my shoulders. Somebody said to me “there is all the space in the world for you.”
And although I couldn't see this, I felt these words deeply and something shifted. They have stayed with me and come up when I need to remind myself of this truth.
There is all the space in the world for you.
So if this is true why does it feel so hard to feel that space?
Because it is not a thing. It's not a gap in your schedule.
How often have you actually fought hard to create space in yoru schedule only to have that space crowded out by all the other things you should be doing? By the guilt over taking that space for yourself? In fact, there wasn’t space for you at all.
Here’s one simple way to create more space for yourself:
Assume there is space.
Yep. that’s it. It's a simple but profound mindset hack that over time, if practiced and allowed to settle into your body will change your relationship with space forever.
Here’s why it works:
- By making the assumption that there is space for you, but you just can’t see it or feel it yet, your subconscious will start looking for it. And what the subconscious looks for it finds. Think yellow cars.
- You're choosing yourself. Assuming there is space for YOU - not just anyone, but YOU. you are acknowledging your importance. You're backing yourself.
- It doesn't require you to do anything. It gets rid of the need to struggle and bargain to find space. You don't have to schedule anything or priorities yourself over anything or anyone else. So there's no guilt or shame involved.
Assume there is space for you and you will find it.
Try it. Let me know.
Wishing you a wonderful and truly spacious Christmas time.