When Ease Still Feels Unexpected: Reflections from a Gently Rebellious High-Achiever

As I sit here with the sunlight flooding the page, sipping my Danger Coffee, I’m aware of that spacey feeling of jetlag.

Fortunately , I just checked into The Gentle Rebel Space and read my weekly check-in post, which says:

“Looking at your calendar for the coming week:

What would this look like if it were easy?

Use what you discovered to make your week a little easier as easily as possible.

Wishing you an unexpectedly easy week.”

Two things I noticed came to mind instantly:

1. I long for ease of completion of my accounts and version 2.0 of The Gently Rebellious One Minute Journal.
2. Cynicism over the ability to make things easier.

But here's the thing:

I've experienced things suddenly being completed with unexpected ease. I've worked hard on both these projects: they are ready to be finished. This is not wishful thinking but a deliberate choice to change how I approach these tasks because I know that will affect how I experience their competition. And I choose to do so with more ease. Right now that ease still feels like it will be unexpected.

Secondly, there's a huge difference between ease and more ease. Adding that one tiny word shifts the pressure for me. As if ease is one big finished thing itself - a mode of perfection to attain permanently. And that’s the kind of harsh thinking that led to my burnout.

I used to work really hard to do things with ease. You know the whole perfectly organised life thing in order to create more ease - which is exhausting to set up and maintain?

I’m no longer available for that kind of pressure. Hence the ‘make your week a little easier as easily as possible’. Tiny emphasis - huge shift. Can you feel it too?

My road to burnout was paved with tiny, well-intentioned shifts. The road out of it was paved with tiny, Gently Rebellious shifts - rooted in a commitment to discover what works better for me - even if it went against the grain. Even if everyone else was doing the opposite.

Although I no longer cycle through the overwhelm into exhaustion thing, having long since recovered and course corrected, I still practise these tiny shifts because I want more than an absence of stress, overwhelm and burnout. I want more energy, joy, fulfillment, peace and contentment. 

So I keep practising my personal Gentle Rebellion. I keep choosing what I want to feel more of. This week it’s ease. Which after a two week road trip around New England, feels like an appropriate and Gently Rebellious act of self care.