Already Successful, But Don’t Feel It? A Story About Realising Your Achievements

With my eyes fixed on my skating boots, I was making my way around the rink last week when my partner came up to me and said, “You might find it easier to look ahead now that you’re skating.”

As I raised my eyes and looked at the people skating in front of me, it suddenly hit me that I was indeed skating. Which meant the story in my head was way out of date.

In my head, I was still trying to skate. This has been a permanent state of affairs since I was 15, when a small group of us got the ferry across to Southampton, walked all the way up the high street and went skating for my birthday.

There was no skating rink on the Isle of Wight where I grew up, so I didn’t learn to skate. Skating was a rare thing and I’ve never felt that I can skate.

I’ve been twice this Christmas because it’s been pulling at me. All those Hallmark movies with Christmas skating rinks. I thought it would be fun.

The first time I went was with my youngest son. When I first stepped on the ice I felt like I’d never stepped on ice before. But very soon I was making my way around the rink in my lopsided fashion while he clung to the edge, finding his ice feet.

But I still didn’t think I was actually skating.

The Stories Our Minds Tell Us

Further examination of the contents of my mind revealed the following story:

You’ve never learnt to skate properly
You need lessons and regular practice first
You only push with one leg, this is an error and needs to be corrected

I was having fun, but this story was still playing in my head.

The following session I went with my partner, who is not a regular skater either, but as I expected, was soon making his way around the rink looking like an ice skater. I stayed in the story of being a practising skater with incorrect technique who needed lessons and a lot more practice.

Interestingly, I was still having fun.

When Simon told me I could look up now that I was skating, there was a time delay before I suddenly realised that I was in fact skating.

How brilliant is that.

I can ice skate.

I don’t need more practice or lessons. I could have them if I wanted to, but I don’t. I just wanted to go Christmas ice skating.

For fun.

This experience of skating whilst believing I couldn’t got me thinking about other time delays between what is actually happening and when my mind becomes consciously aware of it.

Chaos and Contentment Coexist

And it feels very much linked to my recent deliberate practice of contentment.

I ran a course in November called *From Chaos to Contentment*, where we delved deep into how to change our relationship with chaos, calm and contentment so that we can uplevel it to a far more joyful and useful one.

This week I’ve noticed my irritation levels rising with the process of decorating the house for Christmas. My partner goes all out, which is lovely, but also tough when he’s covering up the chaos of renovating underneath the tinsel.

I already feel like there’s too much chaos and sometimes the beautiful decorations just feel like too much.

But this year we have a beautifully lime plastered sitting room with a new wood floor to decorate, so why the rising irritation?

Because I just needed to put away the things that lived in the sitting room cupboards first. To give me a sense of order. To clear the space in my office so it feels like mine again.

So I did. And I feel much better.

Finding Joy in What You’ve Already Achieved

The chaos and the contentment co-exist. Waiting for the chaos to become ordered is an error. The to-do list is never finished. You can always buy more or better presents to demonstrate your love and generosity. There is always more opportunity to do more. Waiting for the chaos to pass until I feel contentment is a fool’s errand.

The contentment I seek is here already.

Because today I live a life I once could never have imagined. I am quite literally living a past dream. One I worked hard for. One that required me to sacrifice old, less expansive ways of thinking about myself and my world.

Realising You’re Already Skating

So I might as well enjoy it. And realise I’m doing it already.

Just like I was skating earlier.